Activated Charcoal: The Mic Dropping Life Saving Ingredient.

Activated Charcoal: The Mic Dropping Life Saving Ingredient.

Posted by Virginic Jeff on

Charcoal - A black, smudgy, substance, left over from burning organic matter.

Hell yeah it is! On top of all that, word on the street is this: charcoal is making a play for control in your favorite beauty products. It also reminds me about the time I was forced to hold my friends penis. Freakin' mexican border towns... More on that later.

A quick history...

Fire good. Fire gamechanger. Fire make TukTuk warm. TukTuk now enjoy steak medium rare. TukTuk full and bored. TukTuk curious by nature. TukTuk notice wood now ash and charcoal. Some still red. TukTuk burn TukTuk but no tell others. Tuktuk use cooled charcoal as face paint. Scare children for lolz. TukTuk explores inner self and expresses emotions on cave wall. TukTuk learn plant based diet best for TukTuk. TukTuk now artist living off of mother-in-law.

 

 

TukTuk Self Portrait, circa. 35,000 B.C.

After TukTuk took cave painting to the next level, charcoal was used in chemistry and metallurgy, the forging process, and all kinds of industrial industries.

But you are more interested in charcoals healing and beautifying aspects -  that, and why a nurse would insist that I be the one to hold his penis at all! I will satisfy your curiosity as we explore the virtues of refined charcoal... the amazing, activated charcoal.

From by-product to Buy Product

It is like this: activated charcoal captures tiny bad things like toxins, poisons, etc., by binding to the little uglies and then your body sends the package downstream. It does this better than regular charcoal because it is processed to be more porous. More pores per sq/whatever = greater surface area and therefore, greater cleansing power.

This power makes it ideal for many uses including air and water filtration, sewage treatment and even decaffeination. (Why decaffeination is a thing I will never understand- that and non alcoholic beer. Those who would suggest "for the taste", have no taste. I also don’t understand cufflinks or comb-overs).

This talent for binding to impurities, toxins, and poisons makes activated charcoal the ideal ingredient in our Teeth Whitening Toothpaste (Use the code VirginicJeff for a killer, discounted, product package).

And finally, when ingested, activated charcoal is a powerful medical tool used to treat poisonings and oral overdoses. Which leads me to my friend Thad...

 

 

“My fizzy pop tastes of Hemlock! My favorite!” - Socrates.

Thad played college football and the trainers would hand out muscle relaxers (and steroids) like it was nothing. I was visiting his campus when he O.D.’d on the muscle relaxers. He was in a bad way so I called an ambulance. Another friend of mine and I followed the ambulance to the hospital where he was being treated.

Not long after arriving, a nurse called me in from the waiting room to the E.R. because they needed a urine sample from my incoherent, friend Thad. You are now wondering what that had to do with me. You know, I wonder to this day...

Thad was released from the hospital a few hours after his Activated Charcoal Treatment. I never saw him after that but he did call me a week later. He was super angry that I called an ambulance. (I’d like to see you try transporting 285 lbs. of dead weight, overdosed, linebacker to the hospital!) His parents found out and they were mad it cost so much. What a bunch of goofs.

Two bits of advice:

  1. Take care of your teeth. Your smile heals the world.
  2. Choose your friends wisely.

Until next time, stay Virginic!. Real life. Real products.

Love,

Virginic Jeff

Like Bamboo and Charcoal? So do we. Our Activated Charcoal Toothpaste is made from burning sustainably sourced Bamboo. Check out our bamboo made Eco Toothbrush as well! It is 100% not burned!

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